dreaming big

Three Tattletales for Tuesday

2012-01-31T15:30:00.000-08:00

Tattletales are back! :)
1. After doing really well on saving money and not eating out once or twice a week for the past couple of weeks... I caved yesterday bought a grilled cheese and a soda at the cafeteria for lunch (to go with my tomato soup I brought from home) and a pizza for dinner :) [Guess it's only $8] Really just means, it's time for grocery shopping.
2. I really enjoy watching The Bachelor.... since I don't have anyone to really watch it with, I find myself talking out loud and having running commentary with myself! This week I kept saying, REALLY Ben? Really?
3. This week I attempted to be "creative" with my hair one night before work, I had found my old sponge curlers and I figured I would give it a shot. Well... at 5:30 am the next morning, I took the curlers out and realized I can created an AFRO. I attempted to comb it to see if it would help... NO. I created a even bigger and more poofy afro... I looked at myself in the mirror and said, THIS HAS TO BE A DREAM! Unfortunately it wasn't... next time I will be more careful when I decide to be creative before work.

2012-01-30T06:21:00.000-08:00

-Monday Annoyance-
My dearest upstairs neighbors,
You make really weird and annoying sounds at the most random times. Thank you for dropping what sounded like a golf ball over and over this morning... I really enjoyed it.
-Your downstairs neighbor.

-Monday Blessing-
I have a job that I work really hard at and a God who walks through each moment with me. Each morning at work I pray as I walk from my car to the timekeeping machine. I pray that the Lord guides me to make wise decisions, for safety in my hands and out of my hands, that I am able to make a difference...

-Monday Humor-
Ha, for the soccer player at Little Caesar's... thank you for your compliment "crazy attractive". I needed the self esteem boost and the great laugh!

Tattletales for Tuesday

2012-01-24T08:00:00.000-08:00

It's Tuesday, so I'm tattling on myself...

or more like confessing!

You can tattle on yourself too, give me 5!

I've been paying for a gym membership for an extended period of time; I've gone once.
My new bed with my new sheets and blankets is my favorite place to be.
I'm feeling very single at this point in my life. Despite those offers to 'set me up' and GASP, get ready for it-online dating... I'm doubting that it could ever really happen.
My new magic bullet (a marvelous Christmas present) is the highlight of my life right now... daily fruit smoothies are a must!
Sometimes I strongly dislike facebook because it can make me feel like I'm missing out on something I should be experiencing and it can bum me out.

This smoothie was delicious- V8 Splash Strawberry Kiwi, banana, blueberries, pineapple and peaches!

2012-01-23T23:43:00.000-08:00

It's a song lyric kind of evening...
I posted a video at the end if you wanted to hear the song.

What do I know of Holy
I made You promises a thousand times
I tried to hear from Heaven
But I talked the whole time
I think I made You too small
I never feared You at all No
If You touched my face would I know You?
Looked into my eyes could I behold You?

(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

I guess I thought that I had figured You out
I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about
How You were mighty to save
Those were only empty words on a page
Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be
The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees

(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

(CHORUS 2)
What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame?
And a God who gave life "its" name?
What do I know of Holy?
Of the One who the angels praise?
All creation knows Your name
On earth and heaven above
What do I know of this love?

(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of Holy?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P--Sxx5VjN8&feature=related

My afternoon date...

2012-01-18T21:33:00.000-08:00

I picked up this adorable cutie this afternoon from daycare!

I was having some Bubba withdrawals so Jennifer graciously allowed me to break him loose a couple hours early.

Gosh I'm biased, of course, but I just have to say I have thee cutest nephew ever.

I walk into the room to pick him up, he looks up at me kind of with a shocked expression and then bam I get a huge smile and a squeal... he squealed all the way to the car.

A great afternoon filled with lots of kisses, hugs, laughter and chasing one another around the house! (On all fours)

Being an aunt is one of the greatest blessings I have ever gotten to experience...

2012-01-15T20:51:00.000-08:00

January... 2012. I can't believe it's already the 15th, which really means February is pretty much right around the corner and then it will be December again. Sorry for my little exaggeration, but I am just constantly amazed at how fast time goes by. I decided this year I really didn't want to make resolutions, I had already made a list of some things I wanted to accomplish in my twenty-fifth year... so I decided in year 2012 I am just going to enjoy life and wing it! :)

I rang the new year in with a three day weekend filled with work, nothing like working the day before and the day after a holiday to really remind you that you missed the big celebrations. I was in bed on new years eve by 9:30pm, woke up at 12:30am (on accident of course) and said out loud, Hello 2012. (And promptly fell back to sleep!) The next morning, I welcomed the year by dealing with my ~~least~~ favorite doctor and my ~~least~~ favorite type of patient- confused and argumentative. What a day! ha.

Already fifteen days into this year I can tell this year is going to be quite interesting...

I renewed my apartment lease, so I've committed myself to one more year.
Work has been draining me physically, mentally and spiritually. April will hold my two year review and the wheels in my head have started spinning, thinking 'what's next?'
Continuing to welcome the realization that I am an adult... (I turned to my Mom during Christmas time and said something along the lines of me needing to be more independent, she responded, "Melissa, you work full-time, you have your own apartment, your own bills, your own car... how much more independent do you need to be." And I started thinking, ohhh yeahhh.)

I feel like I'm rambling. I'm going to leave you with a picture of my new hand-me-down bed with my 'adult' bedspread... nothing like upgrading from a twin to a queen bed to realize that I'm old :)

2011-12-13T11:23:00.000-08:00

My finished tree... my first adult tree. One day all my dated ornaments will make their debuts, but this year I wanted more simple and less clean up! :)

This is as festive as my front door can it! We aren't allowed to put anything on our doors... imagine I have a red bow right in the middle! :)

2011-12-13T11:19:00.000-08:00

Another reason...

2011-12-11T19:29:00.001-08:00

After having a couple days off of work, I was welcomed back with two disgustingly busy and stressful days at work. I felt like I was running around the whole twelve hours back and forth between my four rooms, trying to stay compassionate and friendly with my patients (one in particular who was so obsessed with her bowel functions), pass my medications, stay on top of pain medications, chart and keep the doctors informed. And on top of all that think critically! Physically I was exhausted and mentally ready for a mini-breakdown.

During one of my many medication passes I walked into my favorite patients room. I had taken care of this cute spunky old lady once sometime in November and she came with a slightly overbearing daughter and granddaughter. Sometimes these types of families can be exhausting or annoying, but that day I had determined to bond and try to make my day with them a great experience, and it was! I had run into the daughter all around the hospital and gotten updates along the way. One this particular day, she had almost been in the hospital for a whole month! I walked in and said, "I saved the best for last!" We giggled and chatted while I gave her medications and as I was about to walk out the daughter said, "Melissa, we have something for you!" She handed me this beautiful ornament and gift card, and said "Thank you for all you've done."

The little card read,

"Melissa, thank you for the kindness and attention you have shown our Mother and Grandmother."

Made my little heart smile brighter that day...

Another reason why I love being an nurse.

2011-12-03T21:19:00.001-08:00

Tonight I realized that on December 1st, I started my 7th month on day shift!

Which means, I survived my goal of surviving 6 months on day shift!

Woohoo...

but what I also realized that in 4 more months,

I will been doing nursing for t-w-o years! Wow.

Day 30

2011-11-30T22:49:00.001-08:00

As November comes to an end, so do the 30 days of thankfulness. I feel like November just got here and now it's going away, but that really has been the story of my year 2011.

As I reflect back on my 30 days, I have a great deal of things to be thankful for! Not only do I have an amazing family and friends, my health, a career that constantly challenges and inspires me... but I also get to have an amazing relationship with my Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ.

I am thankful that God gave his only son to die on the cross for my sins and through that sacrifice, I get to experience redemption and salvation... and a promise of eternity praising him.

26, 27, 28 and 29

2011-11-29T12:10:00.001-08:00

Thanks Elaina for reminding me I needed to finished my thankful days!!

26) I am thankful for restful days again. I lounged on my couch all day and started watching Hallmark Christmas movies! (I am a real sucker for holiday romance!) But, I also had time to take the old Christmas tree out of the box and set it up! Thanks Dad for packing some lights in there! Feeling festive already!
27) I am so thankful for humor. My life, my job would not be the same without it. The comical moments make life so much more enjoyable!
28)I've said this before, I'm sure, but I'm thankful for my family.
I'm thankful for my Dad, who has an amazing servant's heart. He probably understands me the most out of anyone in this world. For my Mom, who has a wonderful way of making everyone feel welcome and included. For my brother in law, Dave, who is always there to help me. My sister, Jennifer, who has become my greatest friend. Even in our big sister/little sister moments; she understands, accepts me and tries to offer helpful advice :) Bubbas, I knew having a niece or nephew would be awesome... but I didn't imagine it would be as amazing as Drew! What a happy little boy you are! You bring so much joy into my life!
29) I'm thankful for all my friends. Everyone of you has helped me through a season of life. You have offered support and acceptance. And have endure life with me! Thank you!!! :)

23, 24 & 25

2011-11-25T11:34:00.001-08:00

Oh my I'm behind!

23) I am thankful for my work family! :)
24) I spent the real Thanksgiving day working but I am so thankful for a job! I'm thankful that I get to share life with strangers; ask them all personal questions and actually get to carry on some amazing (some weird) conversations...
25) I am thankful that I got to spend a day of thanksgiving with my parents! They drove out after spending their thanksgiving weekend in San Diego to spend Friday afternoon with me! I got to eat some yummy leftovers and spend some quality time shopping with Mom after the crazy people finished shopping!

(apparently I started this on the 25th, oops for not posting it!)

day 20, 21 & 22

2011-11-22T11:09:00.001-08:00

Oops it's day 22 and I've missed a couple days....

day 22) I'm thankful for the men in my life... Dad, Dave (brother in law) and my few and far between guy friends. They take care of me. They help me with the boy stuff... thank goodness. {but I do kill my own bugs now, thank you very much!}

day 21) I'm thankful for the moments in time that make your heart melt. Like when a patient says, "has anyone ever told you that you really are a sweetheart?" or "ohh no, that means I won't see you again" when I tell a patient I have a few days off. Or when your sister tells you that your 7 month old nephew recognizes your picture in the hallway and laughs and giggles at it....

day 20) I'm thankful for the ability to change my mind, have my own opinions and be able to share them.

day 19

2011-11-19T20:37:00.001-08:00

I'm thankful for sleep. Goodnight :)

day 18

2011-11-18T06:25:00.001-08:00

Thankful for car insurance and roadside assistance!
-smart move 101

Day 17

2011-11-17T14:38:00.001-08:00

I'm thankful for planned dates.

Tonight I have a movie date with my sister. Even though we are going to be joined by a couple hundred other extremely excited people I know that I get to experience it with my sister, my best friend.

I love having something to look forward to!

Day 16

2011-11-16T10:00:00.000-08:00

I'm thankful for my apartment. I have a home, some place to call my own. It's comfortable and homey. It's me.

It's only missing a roommate :)

Day 14 & 15

2011-11-15T21:45:00.001-08:00

Oops, I missed a day!

Actually I remembered as soon as I got comfortable in bed and thought, heck no, I am not getting out of bed to blog. I've had been enjoying my three days off after working three days in a row, it's been lovely. This upcoming week (haha it's my Monday tomorrow) I work one day, have one day off and then work three in a row. I'm going to be a rebel on my one day off and go to the midnight showing of the new twilight movie before work. :)

I just lite a new candle... is lite the right word? Oh well haha. It's apple cinnamon, smells amazing! Thanks to my friend Elaina I have recently became obsessed with candles. I've created a little habit this week of lighting my candle, grabbing a book and snuggling with my comforter before bed. (I love it, I need to do it everyday!)

Okay I'm rambling...

14- I'm thankful for books! I love that I get to take a break from my life and step into someone elses. Whether it's fiction or nonfiction, I love that my mind gets to explore and take new adventures.

15- I'm thankful for the peace the Lord has given me in this moment with my job, family, apartment, friends and future.

Day 13

2011-11-13T22:19:00.001-08:00

Thankful for lazy days that don't actually feel like lazy days. And, I'm also thankful that my sister and her family live SO close! I love the fact that Andrew, my nephew recognizes me each time I walk into the room. It makes my heart sing :)

Day 12

2011-11-12T21:28:00.001-08:00

A little selfish, but I am thankful for that peaceful feeling I get after knowing I worked hard my during my three shifts and knowing I don't have to come back the next morning! :)

Thankful day 11

2011-11-11T20:46:00.001-08:00

I am thankful for all the Men and Women who have served and fought for our Country and our freedom. Thank you.

Thankful day 10

2011-11-10T21:27:00.001-08:00

Even after 6 wonderful days of rest, I am thankful for my job. I'm thankful that it gives me purpose and meaning... after 12, 13 or sometimes 14 hours I walk away exhausted, but generally I walk away feeling like I accomplished something.

Thankful day 9

2011-11-09T19:29:00.000-08:00

Can I be thankful for my washer and dryer today; and that I've finished 5 loads of laundry?

25

2011-11-09T15:42:00.000-08:00

I’m 25! Well, technically I have been for two days now… asmy Dad said, he can now give me a quarter. JTo be honest, I have been slightly fearful of turning 25 and I really don’thave a legitimate reason for it. I think it comes down to being an adult andrealizing my responsibilities are not going to go away or dwindle down, but infact they are going to get heavier and more extensive. It’s a part of life, Ijust have to accept and move forward with! I have decided that year 25; will bea year of greatness. I have been trying to make a list of 25 things to do this year. In reality it’s been sort of hard because I want to beable to accomplish all 25 things so they all need to be tangible and do able,but I want to branch out into the ‘unknown’ and be adventurous. I hope bysharing my list, my friends and family will help me and join me as I check off 'myto do list'… and maybe add more that I never even thought of!

Go kayaking
Check of four or five states offthe list to visit (my dream is to visit all 50 states)
Go on a cruise
Go snowboarding
Attempt to surf
Touch a wild animal (idk)
Rent a car
Go to a concert
Bake a cake from scratch anddecorate it
Visit a new amusement park
Run/walk a marathon
Road trip with friends
Go on a missions trip
Touch the Atlantic Ocean
Tattoo or piercing (the mostunlike Melissa thing I could think of)
Go outside the USA
Pay off one student loan
Be an adult; increase savings,budget wisely and set up retirement
Be in two places at once (myreference to walk to remember)
Go on a backpacking trip (eek)
.
..
…
….
…..

I needhelp with the last five… something do able and exciting.

Thankful day 8

2011-11-09T01:04:00.000-08:00

I am thankful for ongoing birthday celebrations!

This evening I got to spend the afternoon with good friends painting at Color Me Mine.

Then we got all dressed up and went out for a fancy (expensive) dinner!

My Color Me Mine creation...

Thankful day 6 & 7

2011-11-07T21:55:00.000-08:00

I am a little behind!

6) I am thankful for cold weather! We have had quite a bit of rain the past three days and I have loved every minute of it! Especially since I've been off work and I get to stay nice and toasty in my apartment!

7) I'm thankful for my lovely mother. 25 years ago today, they decided it was time for me to join the world. She has been the greatest Momma and friend a daughter could ever ask for!

2011-11-06T13:39:00.000-08:00

a look outside my bedroom...

Thankful day 5

2011-11-05T22:55:00.000-07:00

I am thankful for my lovely friend Caroline...

she came out to spend the day with me for my birthday today.

We've been friends for a long time, it all started with a brave little Melissa walking over to met a shy little Caroline and asking, "Want to me my friend?"

Here we are 20 years later... :)

Thankful day 4

2011-11-05T01:18:00.000-07:00

I am thankful for lazy days!

Thankful that it's okay to have a completely unproductive day at this point in my life...

a full day of rest for relaxation and restoration of the mind, body and soul. :)

[but, I was highly productive this evening and now early morning so that is why this post is late. my good friend is coming for a visit tomorrow, it will be the first time I've actually had a friend come visit my apartment! so, I cleaned (everything) and I'm still not done! maybe I am having too many lazy days lately ;)]

Thankful day 3

2011-11-03T22:07:00.001-07:00

I am thankful for the many opportunities I have to pray and minister to my patients.

Today I had the privilege of praying with my dear 70+ year old patient, it blessed my heart to hear her thank the Lord for His Son's death on the cross and the gift of salvation.

Thankful day 2

2011-11-02T21:53:00.000-07:00

I love Mom-Daughter dates.

Thankful Day 1

2011-11-01T23:32:00.000-07:00

I'm thankful that I get to spend time with this little guy and make funny videos!

Happy 28th Sister!

2011-10-19T23:26:00.000-07:00

I didn't expect...

2011-10-16T03:12:00.000-07:00

As I am laying in bed wide awake right now, realizing it's 313am and my mind won't let me go back to bed... it's definitely not taking the hint from my body that it's exhausted. I had a very long day at work yesterday, 14hr+ day. I keep thinking geeze, there is just so much they don't teach you in nursing school and so much I just never expected nursing to be. I never pictured the sleepless nights or mornings I would spend trying to remember if I did everything... or really hoping that I did everything I could. Did not expect to experience the anxiety when I feel like I didn't do enough for my patients or the dread of remembering that one order I missed. Feelings that I am incompetent and inadequate.

I had the 'privilege' of being floated to a different floor; received my assignment of 8 patients and I kid you not, five minutes after receiving report my hope for a quiet Saturday vanished. The phone calls kept coming, 2 bed alarms started singing, patient were calling and surgery RNs standing in front of me waiting. I thought my head was going to explode! After floundering for 2 hours, I finally had myself organized and I realized I was way behind. I spent rest of my shift attempting to catch up and literally walking back and forth all day. I pushed and pulled my 50lb medication cart/computers all day, my arms and back are really thanking me now. Every time I attempted to sit down; low and beyond someone needed me!

During my morning break, I glanced at a white board that said- Adapt, Overcome, Pursue... and thought "whoa, what a great motto for nursing!" Then realized, no what a great motto for life! I kept repeating it over and over trying to give myself more encouragement. During my lunch I read a little devotional and boy did the Lord convict me! I was reminded of God's promise that I am never alone, the Lord is always with me. He is my protection! I often forget that I'm not alone, especially on the hospital floor. I think I have to do this and this, I end up placing a great deal of pressure on myself and try to carry all my burdens myself. Some moments I forget why I choose nursing to begin with. I can get wrapped up in the technical part of my nursing duties and forget my spiritual and compassionate duties... BUT thank goodness, God is on this life journey with me and wants to help me! I am so thankful for a loving Heavenly Father, who daily teaches me how to open my heart and love on others. How to be a more compassionate nurse and to remember to take joy in the little details of my day!

2011-09-29T16:23:00.000-07:00

Hello Strangers!

2011-08-18T22:48:00.000-07:00

Oh my goodness, I haven't written since the beginning of May! I never updated my blog after Andrew's amazing/crazy arrival! Geeze... I'm behind! :)

Let's do a quick update!
-In June, I had the opportunity to switch to a day shift position! After 11 months on night shift and a couple days of prayer, I made the jump. Honestly this has been the hardest thing ever! I am a true night-owl, but I had/have no social life and I was/am hoping day shift would help me cultivate that! 12 hour days are a challenge! There are more people to deal with, more families, more interactions with doctors and other hospital staff... still a lot of things I need to discover! My goal is to make it on day shift for 6 months! (Why 6 months? I needed to give myself a goal, because believe me, this has been one of the most difficult transitions I have gone through. Some days I look at myself in the mirror and ask myself why nursing?) Into month 3, so we shall see how that goes...

-I have been spending a good amount of time with Jennifer and Andrew (since she was on maternity leave and now then summer break!) I have gotten the amazing opportunity to see my Bubbas (aka Andrew, Drew, Rolly Polly) grow. He is such a darling baby and I feel so blessed that I get to see so much of time and get to play an active role during this stage. I am so grateful for Jennifer, I feel doubly blessed! I never imagined that we would have such an amazing relationship and love that my sister is my best friend. I am starting to realize how sad I am going to be next week when she has to go back to work and Andrew gets to go to daycare...

-I feel like the past couple months I have been nonstop moving. I have been arranging my schedules to fit every one's events in and have been so fortunate to get to share special moments with people I love and care about. Lately it has left me feeling tired and I have been struggling with connecting with my new home. I have decided it's important to try to slow down and catch up on what is happening where I am at. The Lord has given me a little peace knowing that my home is here for now. A HUGE part of this goal is to find myself a church home. I greatly desire to be involved in a consist small group or bible study. (You can pray for me in this journey! Pray that I am able to have an open mind as I continue to visit churches to find that one!)

-What else! Oh, I finally bought myself a new laptop! Hence, probably the reason I feel that it's time to blog again! I also rediscovered Skype! AMAZING! I love seeing my friend's faces who live states away! It's refreshing!!!

I think that is it for now... :)

2011-05-03T17:46:00.000-07:00

Maybe I'm biased... but is he not one of the cutest things ever..

Theme for May!

2011-05-02T21:59:00.000-07:00

A month of maybe! I think I can attempt this challenge! http://www.nablopomo.com/

2011-04-30T11:32:00.000-07:00

The week I received my first annual review! As of April 6th, I am no longer considered a "new graduate" I am now a "new registered RN"! I am shocked and amazed that I survived! The year has been extremely hard and challenging, filled with a great deal of self doubt and anxiety. But as I look back I can see how much I've grown, not just with nursing but in life. I have been getting a lot of practice making adult decisions and having responsibilities, yikes! I'm grateful the year is done, here's to year #2!

2011-04-17T00:11:00.000-07:00

My friends.... I have SO much to blog about! And I will do it soon... I promise.

I'll just leave you with this for now.

A look back...

2011-03-30T21:39:00.000-07:00

I seem to forget that I actually have a blog until I read someones and I feel inspired :) I started to scan through my blog and profile and read my about me section. I thought, "wow, that feels like a whole different world!"

Old about me "I just graduated from nursing school in May and passed the NCLEX in June!!! Now I am attempting to find a job, start a new life and survive living back at home with my parents after having been out for 5 years... I'm a Christian girl tyring to live my according to God's word. I'm growing and changing everyday... always amazed by the Lord's mercy, forgiveness and grace he showers me with. And most importantly dreaming big about what God can do with me!"

As I'm approaching my one year mark of working, I've been thinking back on the last 12 months and how much has happened. I remember a year ago so vividly...

After 9 months of job searching and analyzing what was going to happen in my life, a job literally fell in my lap. There were so many ups and downs in those 9 months; my soul and spirit felt crushed and I wasn't sure how I was going to get out of my pit. Most of you know my story of hesitation, but my ultimate dream was to stay in San Diego... I had just finally gotten comfortable (I should of known, comfort, isn't necessarily a need with God!) I made connections at church, a small group and had made wonderful 'a God-thing' friendships. I had just completed two successful interviews at an SD hospital, of course five candidates in a race for one position, I was one of the 4 unlucky ones. I had just about decided to give up, thought, maybe a nursing career is just not for me... and BAM, I heard about one more place I hadn't tried yet, made a phone call and it felt like in a matter of 4 hours I was scheduled for an interview, then the next Monday morning I was offered a position. And got ready to go to work in less than 3 weeks.

Last year at this time I packed up my newly organized life in San Diego to move 104 miles away to begin a new life. I was apprehensive, a little sad and slightly upset. Upset, because God didn't let it happen my way. Sad, because my heart was breaking to leave behind my new life, amazing friends, my comfort zone and my church. Apprehensive, because I had no idea if I was cut out to be a nurse...

My constant prayer for those 9 months...

"Lord, thank you for your love and mercy. I know nothing is impossible for you. With you by my side I will walk through every door you open, until the day you close it. I know you are with me each step of the way, holding my head. Guide me, help me be obedient and continue to open my eyes and heart to your will, not mine."

I am so grateful for that 9 month journey, blessed for journey I'm still on...

2011-03-09T18:25:00.000-08:00

What are you giving up for lent?

2011-03-09T18:21:00.000-08:00

I survived almost two months without television... but my direct TV is now hooked up and I am reuniting with all my favorite friends :)

Marchy march

2011-03-02T22:55:00.000-08:00

Well blog friends I am attempting to blog on my droid! I am currently sitting on my couch where I've been for the past couple days sick, the only entertainment I've had is my felicity dvds and my phone. No computer or television... feeling lousy and going stir crazy! Sooo internet and television is being installed tomorrow afternoon! :) Now the next step is to research and buy myself a new laptop, that will be an ordeal in itself.

I decided I wanted to make myself some goals for March, the theme is budget ;) This month I am paying all my bills for the first time (uhh grown up time!!)

Cook! So I get to start actually using my kitchen and making meals in an effort to save money and be healthy.
Go to the gym! I already pay monthly might as well use it!!!
Organize! Get myself a bookshelf and unpack the rest of my boxes. Try to make my apartment a little more like "home".
Live in my apartment :) invite company over!

That's all I have for now, more goals to come!

Things I'm looking for to this month: tv! ;) Sabrina and Nat's wedding, Palm Springs bachelorette trip and possibly meeting my nephew Andrew!!

I have become...

2011-01-30T09:16:00.000-08:00

a grown-up!

Thank you for the applause! (cheeseball) :) I have officially moved out into my own apartment.

After searching and praying, I finally narrowed it down and picked one. Last Saturday, the 22th, I officially signed my lease and got my ring of keys (literally a ring, I'm not quite sure what they all really open yet!) The storage unit got emptied, by two very nice men from my Dad's church and my empty apartment was filled with tons of boxes and plastic containers.

Then I got to go to work after being up all day long...

The next day my wonderful Mom came to help me organize and unpack. On Sunday night we did my first Walmart run; got the essentials (cleaning supplies, milk, a coffee maker and candy!). By the end of the night I had finished going through a majority of the boxes, making a pile for goodwill (6 big black trash bags full) and having the kitchen completely set up and everything in it put away! I did my first load of laundry and ran the dishwasher too.

On Monday, I can't really remember what we accomplished... but the highlight of the day was getting to see Baby Andrew! Jennifer had made an appointment for a 4D ultrasound, which is very cool... I got to go with Jennifer to see Baby Ivy's ultrasound, so I knew what to expect. BUT, let's just say, Andrew is going to be pretty darn cute and that's not just because I'm his Aunt! When you see Andrew, his cute little nose and his little grumpy face when they tried to move him... how can you not believe in God... what a miracle!

On Tuesday, the goal was bedroom and the hall closet.... everything fits! The closets are completely organized... barbies, prom dresses, bridesmaids dresses, cherish teddies, Christmas tree and everything you can think of fit! Amen.

The only thing left to to do is sort through my 12 boxes of books and notebooks, yes I said 12!!! I haven't had enough energy to do that yet... Still looking for a perfect TALL brown bookshelf. Besides that, it's time to decorate! My bathroom is big and white, I haven't bought anything for it... and my living room looks like a miniature version of the old Lakeside house.

Everything is set up except Internet and cable... for my one week of apartment living it's been a little challenging :) thankful for my droid! I set up my TV and DVD player, and have already started my 90's chick flick marathons.... I think a Felicity Marathon will be in the near future. Cable may come at the end of February, we'll see...

No pictures yet... sorry.

After 1 1/2 years, it feels amazing to unpack and feel settled. Feels like home already.

Angel

2011-01-13T09:21:00.001-08:00

One of my patients was getting a sleep study, so we try not to disturb them or wake them up as much as possible. Around midnight I had to into his room to hang some IV antibiotics, so I tiptoed in and got out without waking him up. After it was finished, I tiptoed back in and he kind of woke up a little, I whispered a quiet little "hi". He looked at me and said, "you must be an angel..." and quietly (and promptly) went back to sleep. I got a good chuckle out of it as I tiptoed back out.

In the morning after the study was completed, I told him what he said to me and he kind of got a little more quiet... I told him I got a good chuckle and that I hadn't had a patient call me an "angel" yet. He smiled and I proceeded to clean up his room a little then with a sincere voice he said, "You really are an angel though..."

It made my shift worth it.

The Reason I'm a Nurse

2011-01-07T03:07:00.000-08:00

I feel like I should write a blog, I just don’t know how to begin it… I just finished working three shifts back to back. This means I worked three 12-hour night shifts. The best thing about back to backs is you usually get some if not all your patients back. On Sunday I went into work, dreading that I had to leave San Diego yet again and knowing I was working the next three nights. After I got my patient assignment, I was a little apprehensive because one of my patients was on a really high oxygen flow and probably was not going to make it much longer.

I was slightly nervous as I walked into the patient’s room, I can’t give a lot of details but the patient was a 25 year old who was born with a rare genetic disorder that causes some mental retardation. The patient’s parents were in the room along with 6 other friends. Families can make me a little nervous, but they were all very nice and greeted me friendly. They engaged with me, and I was able to build a good connection with all of them early in the shift. As I was giving medications I noticed that there was a bible opened to Psalms. I had a little internal debate inside my head on whether or not to say anything (I seem to experience these quite often, I know the Holy Spirit tugs at my heart and then the worldly 'comfort' tries to jump in. I'll call it my little miniature good vs. evil fight)

Finally I just went for it and said something like, ‘Oh, what are you reading in Psalms?’ The father was quick to say that the Mother was reading it. I then started telling them I had a theme verse for the beginning of the year, Romans 12:12. I didn’t know if they were going to be interested in continuing the conversation, but once she asked me the verse I quoted it to her and we talked a little about our reading plans for the new year. After I walked out of that room I felt at peace for initiating the conversation and thankful that maybe I could have given them a little comfort.
At the end of the shift I said my goodbyes, hoping I’d see them that night.

When I came onto shift I found out the patient was making a turn for the worse and they were transferring to our other unit for different run. As the family came out of the room, the Father came up to me and gave me a teary-eyed “thank you for everything Melissa” and then the Mother came up and hugged me. I told them I’d visit them on the other unit.

That night during my lunch break another nurse came and told me the patient was getting worse, when I ran over there I watched as they started comfort measures. I stood in the doorway trying to give the family their time, but not wanting to intrude as the reality was setting in. I kept walking away and coming back, the internal debate began again… Do I go in and talk to them? Do I not do anything? Should I go pray with them? Should I just tell them I'm praying and leave? I got a huge pit in my stomach and I just prayed for wisdom.

Right when I decided I was just going to go for it, the Mother turned and saw me; she left the bedside and came over giving me a hug. She said to me, “Pray the Lord takes *** quickly.” I turned to her and said, Would you like to all pray together? So, the five of us held hands around the bed and I prayed. I stood with them afterwards trying to be stoic thanking the Lord that he gave me words and hoping they were enough. The Mother expressed how much faith the young patient had... I hugged them goodbye and as I walked down the hallway, my heart broke. Tears came and I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I went over the next evening a couple different times but just quietly prayed for peace outside not wanting to intrude. The patient went to be with the Lord at the end of my 3rd shift…

Those three days were hard, emotionally exhausting. Words can't really describe any of my feelings… I’m grateful I had an opportunity to share my faith and I acted on it. I hope that I showed the family love...

This is the real reason I am a nurse.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-11-10T13:02:00.000-08:00

Momma and I

The Past Meets the Present

2010-10-14T02:58:00.000-07:00

The return is imminent... :) I have these huge blogging idea to update everyone on my so uh-amazing life (geesh) but I just have to sit down and do it. Some day I will :)

As for now... I, of course, am awake at the wee morning hours since I have to work tonight. (currently it's 3am, Thursday the 14th of October) Instead of being wildly productive like I imagined myself to be, I have spent the last 2 hours online (shocker). The last hour as been sort of fun for me... see I like to keep a journal, I wrote journalizer, but technically that isn't a word? I have tons of diaries and journals, most are half empty and spread out throughout my life. (Really, I have one that I wrote in during 3rd grade, the entries go something like "I played outside today! It was rael cool.") Well, back to my point... I read through my old xanga blog! I started it I believe the summer before I went away to college back in 2004 and used it until 2006. I love going back and re-reading my thoughts and seeing how much growth and experience has come since that period of time. I can go back and say, "Wow, did you REALLY think that? or What, I had no idea it affected me that way!" This blog is special too, it chronicled the beginning of college and my struggles with figuring out what I was suppose to do with my life... and most importantly the application process to nursing school!

It brought to mind a handful of memories of my struggle with getting into nursing school, of course I remember being IN nursing school, but I had forgotten the amount of effort to get in. It helps me remind myself about the amount of dedication I have put into BECOMING and BEING a nurse... especially when I have moments that I lack confidence in my decision to be a nurse.

Reading the entries, I remember how clear the Lord was when He called me to try for the program and how I carried that with me through each hardship, trial and guinea pig torture (no not real guinea pigs)

Written February 10, 2006

"It's nice to know that everything is out of my hands and into Gods, I've done all I can do. I really can't wait to see what God has planned for next year and my life. He has been telling me so much this week, through all of the stress and the trials... it's just amazing that he is just right here, you don't have to go search for him. We have the privilege to have a personal relationship with him... and just like other friends we need to spend quality time with him. And.. he comes before everything. God is good... A couple of things keep popping up in my mind... the easiest road to godliness is godly people and godly things and you need to be willing to have a spiritual connection/conversation with anyone... because God is so much apart of who you are and who are so excited for his glory and blessings... you need to be willing to share that with anyone and everyone... Again God is good."

I think Melissa from 2006 needs to come give Melissa in 2010 a reality check!

2010-09-14T03:40:00.000-07:00

Ah. Hi blog world! :) I will be rejoining you shortly...

2010-05-31T21:23:00.001-07:00

Dearest Cellphone,

My lifeline... I wish that you would work for just another couple minutes or hours, maybe even a few more days. There are at least 3 pictures that I really want to save on you, I cherish those moments that you hold. I understand that your time has come, I am truly grateful we've had these 28 months together... thank you for letting me capture moments and share in timeless conversations with others. I will miss you.... especially those pictures, phone numbers...

Sincerely,
Melissa

[I owe you blog readers a huge update!]

2010-04-22T21:01:00.000-07:00

Highlight of my day...

I typed my employee number into the accucheck machine and it worked!! So I didn't have to wait for another nurse to sign it... it read Bennett, Melissa! I asked for a moment, and my nurse and another gave me a moment of silence :)

Plus I got to do all of my medications and start to chart electronically (intense and confusing!) My first paycheck should be deposited at midnight!!!! :)

and... ha Macy's called me asking me if I want a job!

Geeze-la-wheeze

2010-04-18T22:18:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted anything for awhile...

I have been thinking about blogging for the past couple of days, but just wasn't really sure what I wanted to say or share out in the blog world. To be truthful since the last time I posted a lot of doors opened and closed. These doors offered me hope, excitement, acceptance, friendship, encouragement and fulfillment. But they also filled me with apprehension, disappointment and heartbreak.

In March, I was beginning to believe that I was meant to stay in San Diego. Exciting things were happening and it was the most connected I have ever been. In my job searches I had given up the idea of looking anywhere else that was more than 100 miles away. I was thinking surely this is the 'start'... In the beginning of the month I was interviewing with a hospital, and the chance of the job seemed very promising. For the first time I got PRAISE from the interviewer! After working hard for a chance to interview, I got selected for a second interview and got told to apply to another possible position. Seriously, after that how do you not get your hopes up???

As I was anxiously awaiting to see what was going to happen with this opportunity, I was told by another school friend that her hospital was hiring for an April Program and one of the managers was a past Professor. The problem was, it was in Redlands and I wanted to be in San Diego. I put it in the back of my head and thoughtfully prayed for the Lord to help me surrender to his will. I got my "your wonderful, but the job offer is not for you" phone call and felt like my heart was sliced in two, my hope was crushed. I went through my depressed phase and after a week, I picked myself up and started again. I remembered about that other job opportunity and figured I would give it a shot. I emailed the recruiter and got a phone call 2 hours later, then 30 minutes after that got an interview time for the next Friday the 19th. I thought, "Okay God... I told you I'd walk through each door faithfully until you shut it on me. But Lord, Redlands seriously?"

I was not excited, and definitely not nervous. That week we found out that my Dad needed to have an exploratory angiogram on the day of my interview because a test couldn't get a good image of an area of his heart. My first thoughts went back to when he had his heart attack, the scary thought of loosing my Dad too soon. (Ah tears!) The thought that I had to go to this interview alone, and that if something happened I wouldn't be there... It was hard.

I pushed through with encouragement from my Daddy to go, and knowing that I needed to be obedient and trust the Lord with the outcomes. To make the story short, I ended up showing up to the interview an hour late because somehow I got my time wrong. But they still let me interview and all 6 interviewers were so nice. Before I left that hospital I found out that my Dad was done with his procedure and they found nothing wrong! Praise the Lord!

After 10 months and 20 days on Monday March 22nd I got the phone call that I had been waiting for, a job offer. So at the end of March, I found out that I am not suppose to be in San Diego, I guess Redlands it is for the time being...

Wordless Wednesday

2010-03-17T22:14:00.001-07:00

my favorite people in the world

2010-03-17T16:19:00.000-07:00

This made me laugh today... Dangers of Wearing Sheepskin Boots

2010-03-12T14:01:00.000-08:00

The Sacrifice of Silence

I've been trying to apply this to my life this week... it's been hard.

"In times when prudence says, "be quiet," your silence can be a statement to God, yourself, and even others that you believe God is really in control and will work things out the way HE wants them. It is an act of faith."

2010-03-09T23:26:00.001-08:00

God may allow His servant to succeed when He has disciplined him to a point where he does not need to succeed to be happy. The man who is elated by success and is cast down by failure is still a carnal man. At best his fruit will have a worm in it.
- A.Z. Tozer

think about it...

2010-03-04T23:27:00.000-08:00

Odd fact for you: Upper and lower case letters are named "Upper" and "Lower" because in the time when all original print had to be set in individual letters, the 'Upper Case" letters were stored in the case on top of the case that stored the smaller, 'Lower Case' letters.

-Hope it's true :)

tongue: a powerful weapon?

2010-03-03T23:23:00.000-08:00

The only thing strange that I can think of right now,

is how odd the power words have over us.

As you think about the spoken word and all the different methods of communication in our lives, it's amazing how uplifting, powerful and effective

(hurtful, discourteous and inappropriate)

they can be!

All of us can imagine conversations and moments when others have offered praise or cut deeper than you thought possible.

We know that one negative comment can make or break your day if you let it.

"With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse me, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water." James 3:9-12

But when I think of the power of the tongue my first thought is our hearts...

these verses really describe the 'heart' of the matter!

"Don't you see that whatever enters your mouth goes into the stomach and then out of the body? But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man 'unclean'. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander." Matthew 15:18

"The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks." Luke 6:45

As a Christian, a follower of Jesus Christ, I am called me be different.

Called to be set apart.

Called to speak out of love to my fellow brothers and sisters, no matter how badly they can possibly treat me.

Not to just be a good person.

But to have a clean heart, with pure intentions of demonstrating God's love and His commandments...

ah... so much to say!

Fishtail

2010-03-02T20:54:00.000-08:00

Odd fact of the day, I have been thinking about braids for a couple days. I think because I was reading that it's the new hairstyle trend right now. I taught myself how to french braid a long time ago but I never learned how to do a fishtail braid... so I used my Internet time for a useful purpose and learned how to!

If you don't know what a fishtail braid is here is a picture. I tried to find an image that just showed a classic one.

I thought it would be hard to do, but it seems pretty simple. Let me teach you :)
-With a normal braid, you usually separate your hair into three pieces, but with this you separate it in two.
-Starting from the outside you take a small piece of hair from the outside left and add it to the left. And then repeat it that with the outside right.
-And keep going til the braid is done!

Easy! I think they are pretty and it's a good change from the classic braid or a french braid :) Sorry, I was working on the STRANGE(R) theme. I think it might be a little hard for me to accomplish 31 days of it.

Each time I typed braid, I put brain.

March!

2010-03-01T23:46:00.000-08:00

I can not believe it is March already!

Seems like May is just around the corner, and then I will be out of college for a YEAR!

That is scary... unemployment is soo not fun.

Well, I decided that since my life is boring blogging would add a little more excitement in my life. I want to bring back my monthly goals and I think it's only fitting that since today is March 1st, I'll start now! (Hopefully this help me have better focused days)

And I am going to attempt to do the NaBloPoMo March Challenge! The theme is strange(r). Let's see what I can come up with!

March Goals:

-Continue to read daily to finish the bible in a year

-Focus and study 2 books of the bible (I haven't decided which ones yet, I'm finishing Isaiah right now. Leaning towards Jeremiah and Ezekiel.)

-Finish Crazy Love by Frances Chan, maybe possibly move on to Don't Waste Your Life by John Piper

-Finish sorting through all my clothes, then go through all my stuff (junk)... really just finish my massive clean sweep of my bedroom.

-Apply for nursing jobs, but apply to at least 2 non-nursing job per week.

-Ugh, get on the treadmill and run! Let me set a realistic goal of getting on the treadmill for at least 30 minutes 3x a week. :)

-As I waste my time on the internet, try to make it useful. Like researching fun things, reconnecting with people, read good articles :)

I think it's strange that Jake picked Vienna over Tenley :)

And that the show has Jake in these odd thinking positions as we hear his voice-overs talking about how his feelings and how it's hard to love two women.

It's a strange and cheesy show...

Wordless Wednesday

2010-02-24T15:03:00.001-08:00

Arizona (Justina)

2010-02-20T11:40:00.001-08:00

Before I tell you my about my Arizona trip I want to tell you about my best friend Justina (or Tina or Tete). The first time the two of us met was on my way to my first tennis practice at CBU. I had stood in my room for a good fifteen minutes, fully dressed debating on whether I should actually go out. I finally got enough courage so I headed out of the dorms started walking down the path and halfway I think, "Um, I should totally go back to my dorm!" Right as I was about to turn around I hear this happy chipper voice say, "So are you going to come out and play with us today?" And I turn to see this cute little lady who I had seen around campus before and I think "Ah, I have been caught! Now I really have to go out!" And I said, "Yes I am!" I'm not sure really how things progressed, but it seems like the next week we were great friends. I like to describe our relationship as God destined, because the Lord knew I needed a friend like Tina in my life. From the moment we decided we were going to be friends we were open and honest, and accountable. The following year God had a great sense of humor to put us both on the same RA staff, let alone TWO doors down from each other! Throughout my friendship with Tina, I have been able to share in many seasons of life with her! Especially when she met and married the man of her dreams! Even through our rough patches the Lord has always brought us back together again...Since Matt and Tina live in Arizona, the last time I had seen her was when she came down for my birthday weekend in November of 09'. Ever since my graduation we had talked about me coming out for a visit, but I was always tied down with the possibility of getting an interview or a job. (Ha) So after the holiday season I had lots of time on my hands again, and I said let's plan something now, get me out of CA!

I was able to fly into Arizona on a Wednesday and I left on Tuesday night! (Can I say plane rides are amazing!) While Tina will say the week wasn't very excited, I had a great time! It was so fun to finally see where Matt and Tina live, to see where they go to church, who they could interact with, and what surrounds them! Tina just started nursing school a couple weeks ago so she was still having to go to class when I was there, but I had two little companions to keep me company! It was wonderful to just get away from my life and situations that were going on around me. I guess my favorite thing was just to get to hang out with Tina. I love the ease of our friendship, and how we can understand one another. I think we can entertain ourselves easily and I feel like sometimes we laugh more than we talk!

Thanks for letting me come! Hopefully you'll get something in the mail next week!

Tester

2010-02-19T23:47:00.000-08:00

Can you all read my blog now??

Expiration Dates

2010-02-18T17:09:00.000-08:00

I love, and I mean love reading random articles I find online. The Yahoo homepage always has something that catches my attention and today this did, Ignore Expiration Dates. If you know me and my Mom can attest to this when she reads it, I hate anything that is expired. It scares me. After taking a Human Microbiology course in college and having my professor tell the class a story about a homeless man eating moldy bread and having fungus grow on the top of his palate, I officially feared it more. Sometimes I can build up enough courage to overcome my fear of expiration dates in certain items but most definitely not my favorite beverage, milk. I think it must be a mind over matter issue, but the thought of even drinking it makes me gag. Last month there was a full gallon of milk in the refrigerator unopened, but expired. I wouldn't touch it. I didn't eat my cereal, slim fast or anything I liked to eat with milk for two weeks because we couldn't get more til it was gone. (Stubborn much? Maybe just paranoid.)

As I was reading the article, I thought "Have I been deceived?" I probably should/might do some more research on the matter. But I think I can be a little lenient on my fear and hate for expiration dates! :) This is my favorite part of the article,

"Expiration dates are intended to inspire confidence, but they only invest us with a false sense of security. The reality is that the onus lies with consumers to judge and maintain the freshness and edibility of their food—by checking for offensive slime, rank smells, and off colors. Perhaps, then, we should do away with dates altogether and have packages equipped with more instructive guidance on properly storing foods, and on detecting spoilage. Better yet, we should focus our efforts on what really matters to our health—not spoilage bacteria, which are fairly docile, but their malevolent counterparts: disease-causing pathogens like salmonella and Listeria, which infect the food we eat not because it's old but as a result of unsanitary conditions at factories or elsewhere along the supply chain. A new system that could somehow prevent the next E. coli outbreak would be far more useful to consumers than a fairly arbitrary set of labels that merely (try to) guarantee taste."

Hellooo Again!

2010-02-18T16:20:00.001-08:00

After a slight urging from Mrs. Johnson (he he) to return to the blogging world, I gave in... I can't promise any spectacular entries since I assume my life is uneventful and boring. I guess I can write about stuff that humors me! To my avid blog readers (all 4 or 5 of you) I can update you saying still no job. I am assuming that most of my classmates have now acquired employment, along with the fall class behind me. These past months have been difficult. I am still in the midst of discovering what direction I am suppose to go and really, what the heck I'm suppose to do! I'm trying to figure out where I belong so to speak and who I relate to.

I would say there have been some pretty exciting things to happened so far in 2010. In the beginning of February I had the opportunity to fly out to Arizona to spend almost a week with my dear friend and her husband. (I'm going to write about it more in another entry! Score!) And, I got invited to participate in a small group intending to prepare future small group leaders. After some prayer and seeking advice, I said yes! Tonight is actually the first meeting! [excited!] I am excited to see what the Lord can and will reveal to me through this experience, and really the possibility of further growth.

As for my daily life, I am blessed to wake up each morning and understand that the Lord of all Creation designed me. I am perfect and wonderfully made.. God designed me for a purpose. I may not be living life the way I desire but I am called to live my life for Him, each day no matter where I am at I choose to live for Him and follow His commands.

A Little Bit of my December...

2009-12-29T14:47:00.001-08:00

Sorry I haven't blogged much there just hasn't really been anything to write about. December is almost over, can't say that I am sad to say goodbye to 2009. But, who really knows what I will encounter in 2010.
December has actually been pretty productive. In the beginning I saw a job posting for seasonal at Macy's and went, "what the heck! why not?" I figured they had already hired their seasonal employees so I figured it would be a long shot. I got an emailed a day after asking me to schedule an interview and I got the soonest one I could find. I didn't think much of the interview because the manager interviewed another guy and me at the same time, so all I could do was shake her hand in the end and say thanks. In the meantime Mom started complaining that it was time for Christmas decorations needed to be put out :]. So I started working with my Dad to get all the boxes out and go through each one, figure out how I wanted to decorate. I got a call in the middle of that asking me to come into Macy's the next day and I figured I'd probably get a second interview or something. So after not being able to get a hold of anyone (after I tried for 2 hours!) I just decided to show up at the time the message told me too. They offered me an on-call position in the Children's Department and I said of course! It's seasonal and said I could work up to full-time hours and make a quarter over minimal wage. (AFTER my last target experience I didn't bring up or mention my nursing degree AT ALL!) So, this month I've been making some money! It's been alot of fun to get out of the house and have something to look forward too. I feel like a real person again. This is the first time since the summer Jennifer got married that I have actually had a 'real' job. It has been a great adjustment, now... if only the real nursing job would come along.
The job scenario... still looking. This month I actually got a chance to interview, which was very exciting since I haven't gotten a chance since AUGUST! It was at a small medical center in San Clemente and I mean small! The size of a clinic. But, I was extremely blessed to discover that they had over 900 applicants for 2 positions and they dwindle it down to 40 individuals to meet and interview! (That clarified to me that the Lord is indeed still working, and I thanked Him for his reminder!) I did not get the job, but it was nice to finally just have the opportunity. I got alot of no's from my November list so I'm still looking and applying. Hopefully something will come up this next year!
This Christmas was different. It didn't feel like Christmas. Traditions just weren't cutting it this year... but understanding the true meaning of Christmas was a blessing for me and my family. I spent a great deal of reflecting on Jesus' birth this year and reading through Mary's experience.
As I think back on these past months it makes me just say what an amazing God we have! He has the ability to do anything. While I feel like I keep getting doors slammed in my face, I know I need to take the time to realize that he has opened others around me. I have had the opportunity to see the Lord in action. See the way He has continuously blessed my family and me, and I am extremely grateful.
Still trusting and waiting...

2009-12-25T23:50:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday Jesus!

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-15T13:37:00.000-08:00

I'm working on some crafts ideas and I found these

look how cute these stockings are...

Wordless Wednesday

2009-12-02T22:56:00.001-08:00

2009-11-30T23:26:00.000-08:00

HA, I GAVE UP AWHILE AGO... I procastinated on applying for jobs. :) I have a seasonal job interview tomorrow, we'll see how that goes. Hopefully I don't get denied right away like Target in October. Oh having a nursing degre...

Other movies I saw this month in the theater...

2009-11-30T20:33:00.000-08:00

I was reminded why you don't let the guy chose the movie... it was a dreadful waste of time, with maybe 3 funny scenes.

Amazing! The previews looked great, and the movie was actually better! Make sure you see this one!

New Moon

2009-11-30T17:31:00.001-08:00

My sister and her friends Robin and Desiree, bought tickets back in September for the midnight showing New Moon... unfortunately Desiree got sick and was unable to attend. (You were missed!) Jennifer called me around 6pm and asked if I wanted to drive up and come see the movie, and I of course said yes! (I was thrilled to get out of the house also)

Having read all the books (and then talking Jennifer into reading them) I have become somewhat of a skeptic when it comes to these types of movies. I waited to see the first Twilight movie til it came out in video, and I can say I wasn't impressed at all. Matter of fact, I laughed throughout the whole thing because I thought it was ridiculous.

So, heading up to see this movie, I was trying to have no expectations... hoping a new director would make it worth seeing. When I met up with Jennifer and Robin at the theater around 9pm, we were fortunate to stand with Jennifer's old yearbook students (she is like a celebrity with teenagers haha) in the front of the line! These 7th, 8th and 9th grades got in line around 1pm.... I forgot what it was like to be in middle school and be around them... it was very interesting.

The movie turned out to be surprisingly good... I liked it. There were definitely some cheesy parts and big parts that got left out, but wasn't too bad.

I recommend it!

I'm trying to remember what happened this month...

2009-11-30T17:07:00.000-08:00

Okay... where the heck did November go... this is sooo cheating but I'm counting this as a blog because I'm doubting my creativity to come up with 14 blog posts, so I'll come up with 13... this month I felt like it was surprisingly busy (well more than the last 6 months) yet wasn't too eventful.

Next posts will be...

18. New Moon Premiere

19. Movies

20. My laptop :(

21. Job search update

22. Friends :)

23. Thanksgiving

24. Day After Thanksgiving Shopping

25. Family Pictures

26. ...

27. ...

28. ...

29. Goals update

30. What I am looking forward too....

I failed my blogging goal...

2009-11-30T16:59:00.000-08:00

Hi... long time no blog huh?! So, I believe I failed in my goal for blogging 30 times in November (one for each day of the month). This is my 16th post, think I could blog 14 more posts by midnight??? I highly doubt it, but I can try... or at least save 14 blogs posts and post them later :) I think that's sort of cheating... but trust me I already know I failed :)

2009-11-19T18:32:00.000-08:00

No more letters from Santa. Sad, I definitely got letters from Santa when I was little. Click here to read the article.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-11-18T13:10:00.001-08:00

Smile Commerical

2009-11-13T21:01:00.000-08:00

This is my favorite commerical... I smile whenever I watch it!

I wish I knew how to upload it directly on here, but I have no clue!

Birthday Pictures!

2009-11-12T16:43:00.001-08:00

Well, I began celebrating my birthday on the 1st at Disneyland. Since my birthday was on Saturday I wasn't going to be able to go with anyone on that day because it is a block out day for our passes. I have really been trying to be good budgeting the little money I have so I haven't been spending money to go anywhere, but I had been dying to go to Disneyland to see the Fall decorations I heard so much about. The 1st was the last day of all the decorations, so Jennifer, Dave and I headed over early Sunday morning. Dave and I wanted to go on Space Mountain since it was changed for Halloween. I got my birthday button, and then rode my favorite ride THE MATTERHORN! Then we headed over to California Adventure to see the cute Candy Corn Acres. We left around 11am because we were hungry and Jennifer had a headache.

Picture with the Big Mickey!

Pretty Fall Decorations Everywhere!

Candy Corn Acres!

Jennifer with the Tomatoes!

Me with the Candy Corn!

Took our picture with Minnie!
My actual birthday was actually a very low-key normal day. The water valve in a sink broken the day before so we had no water for 2 days and my Dad spent the majority of the day fixing it. (With Dave help on Saturday). I was dog sitting at a house, so I headed over there to feed them and shower. My Mom and I ventured out on a shopping trip and I got my beloved CARAMEL FRAPPUCCINO. I was searching for jacket, but didn't find anything I wanted to spend my precious birthday money on.

One of the things I asked for!

After a couple hours and many stores later we came home, I read while my parents took naps. I also made my own birthday cupcakes to share with my Sunday morning group! Then we got dressed and went down to Fashion Valley to eat at the CHEESECAKE FACTORY! After a long wait and walking around the store, we sat down and ate! It was fun, but I sure did miss my sissy :)

Thoughts for Thursday

2009-11-12T15:23:00.000-08:00

who knows if this makes sense or if it's boring (most of my blogs are, sorry) but what the heck.

While I am a deep thinker, I have never been into being a philosopher or interested in theories. I have never really liked to have "discussion" (or arguments) about what things could be like, what so and so meant to say by some statement a hundred years ago or human adaptations. During college I took sociology, a couple psychology, and some theory classes, and just would get frustrated and annoyed. I never understood why people have to analyze everything and give it a reason. Majority of the time I just decided not to care and it would go way over my head.

Growing up and during some college years I have held the same viewpoint for religion. Even as a kid raised in a Christian home, I never picked up on the need for in depth reading of the Bible or deep thoughts about what prophecies could be in the scripture verses I memorized on the ride to church on Sunday mornings. I thought know the basics and you will succeed... Unfortunately I know that is not true, even if you are a Christian or not, or if you believe in another religious faith.

It's interesting to learn about other religions and cultural upbringings. Some have intensive training and that start at such a young age... I think of us as Americans and how we lack most of the cultural influence that drives religions. (Yes we do have religions like that in America) This past week on Sunday morning during the class I have started getting plugged into at church we watched a video about being a disciple. The guy was discussing how in the Jewish religion the children go to school and if they are the best they get to continue on with school. Then if they are the best of the best they ask to be a disciple of a Rabbi and if they are chosen they are the best of the best of the best.

It challenges me to think of the diligence they put into their faith and then I compare it to my own. As I am getting to know people at church, I am realizing I have never really been around others who are well knowledgeable regarding scripture. I sort of sit their in awe when they start talking about something.

It's very convicting, but also such an encouragement. I can see God given joy and understanding through them. It's time for me to stand up and not hide, if this is my faith I need to continue to learn what is offered to me in abundance.

A SIDE NOTE: [I am not trying to be philosophical or pushing anything on others, but my mind has been constantly going over this topic. It is very important to understand what you believe in. Whether you believe in God, gods or not. What you think you believe and what you don't. Some churches are predicting the end times are coming, unlike the past, things are actually lining up. As a Christian I believe there are only two places to go... I want to make sure people I care about know God's story and are with me in Heaven for eternity. It's time for all of us to step up... ]

Wordless Wednesday

2009-11-11T14:45:00.000-08:00

23 random things about ME!

2009-11-10T22:01:00.000-08:00

1. Having hated steak my entire life, I surprisingly like it now
2. I have no idea what I want to do with my life :) or which direction I am going to go
3. I need a purpose and actually like having a routine
4. I get nervous easy, but it goes away quickly
5. I have been to 6 states, one day I want to do a road trip through all of them :)
6. Pizza and spaghetti are my favorite meals
7. I love football
8. I always thought I would get married and have kids, but I'm thinking that may not be what God has in store for me.
9. I have determined that I do not like tap water.
10. If someone around me cries, you can bet I'll start soon even if I don't know you!
11. Ready for someone to give me a chance so I can start my "career"
12. I get really annoyed when people don't treat others with common courtesy and respect
13. I really miss being close to all my college friends :(
14. I'm thankful that the Lord has given me the last six months to focus on Him and learn more about His amazing mercy and continuous presence and power.
15. Friendships are extremely important to me, but most importantly it's a two way street. Friendships can not work if the other person doesn't put effort into it.
16. I love the sun's warmth, but I like cold windy days.
17. I catch onto things rather quickly, for example I can pretty much figure out the end of a movie in the middle of it
18. I love to read! I have a bad habit of not putting down a book until it's finished, which means I get nothing done until the book is over.
19. I count my family as my best friends
20. I love people. I love people watching and meeting new people
21. Laughing is one of my favorite things to do ;)
22. I love learning and doing random Internet searches.
23. I need my alone time as much as I my social time.

Jennifer's Carving Party

2009-11-10T17:32:00.000-08:00

The last weekend in October I decided I needed to get out of town! So guess where I went!? Riverside! :)

I drove up on Friday morning to spend the evening with Jennifer and her friends, she was having a Pumpkin Carving Party!

I was excited because a week earlier I talked my Dad into spending 5 bucks on a pumpkin for me to carve, especially since I didn't have to carve mine alone!

Here are some of the pictures!

Jennifer and I, outside on the porch enjoying the October evening and the new beautiful grass!

The beginning part making caramel apples.

We tried to cover the apples with caramel, but the caramel wasn't working the way we wanted it to.

All the toppings to go on the apples!

The end product of my pumpkin carving, didn't really last long...

There are our Halloween costumes! We sat at the end of the driveway expecting kids... and got 8-9 kids. Sad day... But it was fun seeing the cute little ones that can't really say 'trick or treat'.

2009-11-09T15:27:00.000-08:00

Crazy Love....

Started it. Convicted. Now Starting it Again.

Join me!

Learn about it HERE

Guess what today is...

2009-11-07T23:37:00.000-08:00

My 23rd Birthday!

More Pictures Later!

Wow, hard to believe that I am really an adult and moving along into my twenties. I remember ten years ago I was so excited to finally be 13, finally be a teenager... and now fast forward I am 23, a college graduate and unemployed with the world in her hands...

Watch out, here I come!

2009-11-06T17:38:00.000-08:00

Some of the books I requested came in...

I have something to look forward to!

Recommended!

2009-11-06T11:13:00.000-08:00

Dang, I forgot to blog yesterday...
Justina recommended making a blog post about my favorite books...
So here goes! :)

I think the best books that I have read lately are by Francine Rivers. If you haven't read Redeeming Love that's a great place to start. The second place would be the Mark of the Lion Series, there are three books and it follows the persecution and perseverance of 1st-century Christians in Rome. One word: AMAZING. All of these books I could not put down.
Really if you read anything of hers, it's always a good read.

Another series that I really liked and couldn't put down was The Sisters of the Quilt by Cindy Woodsmall. She writes Amish-related novels. There are three books, I don't want to explain what happens because you really just have to read the books... my sister and I read them this summer... I didn't want them to end!

As in my previous post I wrote that I was reading Beverly Lewis and Tracie Peterson lately. Beverly Lewis focuses on Amish-related novel and from what I read I have really enjoyed them. I just finished The Courtship of Nellie Fisher, which follows Nellie through her Amish courtship and her decisions as her family discovers more about their "faith".
Tracie Peterson is a Christian author who writes historical novels. I really liked her Yukon Quest Series and the Alaskan Quest Series. I'm excited to read more of her books!

That's all I have right now. As an avid reader I like book suggestions! Leave a comment about a book you liked and think others should read too! Even if you are secretly reading my blog, you can post secretly if you want! ;)

Reading...

2009-11-04T20:20:00.001-08:00

I love to read!

And sadly, its about one of the only things that I really love to do that I actually get to do right now!

Because it's FREE!

Currently, well beginning this summer I have had a fascinations with reading Amish-related books. No idea why. Normally when I choose books I will walk into the library, look through the shelves and pick out a handful of books by their covers and go read them all. Occasionally I will look by an author that I liked before or try to find books that belong in a series (I love them!)

Mainly I am reading books by Beverly Lewis. She writes Amish-related novels. I have really liked some of the series that I have read and right now I'm in the process of working on two of hers. I am going to try to read all of her books if I can. Another author that I also like at the moment is Tracie Peterson. I have read two of her series in the past and really enjoyed them. I just requests two complete series from the library, so I am excited about that!

I'm leaning towards Christian novels, with positive and inspirational themes.

If you have any suggestions, let me know!

I have some suggestions for you if you are interested!

Ye Are Not Your Own

2009-11-03T15:33:00.000-08:00

Since the end of September I have been using My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers as one of my daily devotionals. While some days (well most) are way over my head in the wording he uses but each day I say to myself, "Whoa that hit it right on the nail!"

The entry that I'm sharing with you is for November 1st called Ye Are Not Your Own.

I know I read the title, and went "Ah, what the heck... still using 'Ye'?"

"Know ye not that... ye are not your own?" 1 Corinthians 6:19 (KJV)

After reading the scripture I looked it up in my bible.

"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own." (NIV)

There is no such thing as a private life - "a world within the world"- for a man or women who is brought into fellowship with Jesus Christ's sufferings. God breaks up the private life of His saints, and makes it a thorough fare for the world on the one hand and for Himself on the other. No human being can stand that unless he is identified with Jesus Christ. We are not sanctified for ourselves, we are called into the fellowship of the Gospel, and things happen which have nothing to do with us, God is getting us into fellowship with Himself. Let Him have His way; if you do not, instead of the slightest use to God in His Redemptive work in the world, you will be a hindrance and a clog.

The first thing God does with us is to get us based on rugged Reality until we do not care what becomes of us individually as long as He gets His way for the purpose of His Redemption. Why shouldn't we go through heartbreaks? Though those doorways God is opening up ways of fellowship with His Son. Most of us fall and collapse at the first grip of pain; we sit down on the threshold of God's purpose and die away from self-pity, and all so-called Christian sympathy will aid us to our death bed. But God will not. He comes with the grip of the pierced hand of His Son, and says- "Enter into fellowship with Me; arise and shine." If through a broken heart God can bring His purposes to pass in the world, then thank Him for breaking your heart.

I am thanking the Lord for my broken heart!

November

2009-11-02T10:15:00.000-08:00

November is here!

I decided that this month is going to be great, why? I haven't quite decided yet...

But this month I'm going to try to focus on positive things and be THANKFUL!

My goals for the month of November:

to blog 30 times (for each day of the month)
write down at least one thing that I am thankful for each day
to spend time in the word (Bible) each day
continue to exercise with Daddy daily (or alone), maybe step it up a notch with something else
cook at least 2 meals each week
continue to turn off the computer after 10-11pm and go to bed :)
more to add later...

Do you have any November goals????

After God's Silence - What?

2009-10-13T19:44:00.000-07:00

"When He had heard therefore that he was sick, He abode two days in the same place where He was." John 11:6

Has God trusted you with a silence - a silence that is big with meaning? God's silences are His answers. Think of those days of absolute silence in the home at Bethany! Is there anything analogous to those days in your life? Can God trust you like that, or are you still asking for a visible answer? God will give you the blessings you ask if you will not go any further without them; but His silence is the sign that He is bringing you into a marvelous understanding of Himself. Are you mourning before God because you have not had an audible response? You will find that God has trusted you in the most intimate way possible, with an absolute silence, not of despair, but of pleasure, because He saw that you could stand a bigger revelation. If god has give you a silence, praise Him, He is bringing you into the great run of His purposes. The manifestation of the answer in time is a matter of God's sovereignty. Time is nothing to God. For a while you said - "I asked God to give me bread, and He gave me a stone". He did not, and today you find He gave you the bread of life.

A wonderful thing about God's silence is that the contagion of His stillness gets into you and you become perfectly confident - "I know God has heard me". His silence is the proof that He has. As long as you have the idea that God will bless you in answer to prayer, He will do it, but He will never give you the grace of silence. If Jesus Christ is bringing you into the understanding that prayer is for the glorifying of His Father, He will give you the first sign of His intimacy - silence.

October 11, My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers

Playtex

2009-10-09T01:32:00.001-07:00

Playtex

Posted using ShareThis

Hello October

2009-10-05T16:19:00.000-07:00

October is officially here, which means that month 6 has begun. I'm glad fall weather is finally coming... I love it. Makes me want to put on my sweaters, curl up in a blanket and start drinking hot chocolate.

The newest and probably most exciting thing that is happening is that I joined a co-ed small group at the church my parents have been attending. I decided that it was time to branch out. I don't talk to most of my 'friends' that are in the area. (If you are one, sorry.) Currently, I'm the only girl in the small group :) and I'm thinking I might possibly change just because I'm excited for the guys who joined. They are really excited about the small group and if there is one girl, I don't want to hinder any growth that can come from manly fellowship....

Alot of thought (I have alot of time to think these days) went into this decision. I keep saying, "I want to start my life." My idea of starting my life is getting a job... but that it's MY idea, not God's. In all reality, I'm already living my life... it doesn't just stop. I can't just sit inside the house and do nothing forever... After praying about it and listening to messages about fellowship, conviction hit and I knew it was time to get the ball rolling. I'm slowing working on it, so we'll see how it goes.

No job so far. I sort of took a couple weeks off of 'intense' searching. I have a couple hospitals I check every couple of days to see if any listings are posted. I just finished working on another application for Loma Linda Children's and my first choice couldn't participate so my application was withdrawn, so that wasn't much fun. I'm always working on at least one application and I seem to apply to at least 2-3 positions each week.

I'm working on trusting in the Lord's plan and finding the peace I need through Him. Some days I'm fine and everything goes dandy, and then sometimes I just feel like I'm in a funk with no way out. The Lord has most definitely been working on my heart; opening my eyes to so many insights, breaking me down and building me up, and most importantly shaping who I am becoming... I don't know how we think we can live without Him. We are fooling ourselves to think we can make it through a day without talking to Him. Especially thinking we 'know' him, when we aren't in His word daily, weekly or even monthly... blows my mind.

This picture cracks me up, I want to carve one like this someday.

Okay... I have to rant about Jon and Kate

2009-10-02T16:06:00.000-07:00

I'm really sick of going any Internet site, and seeing the 'latest' Jon and Kate drama. I wish they would stop taking their lawyers on television and talking about the future of their show and marriage-divorce. The media is having a field day! And America keeps watching it, because we are still talking about it! Can't they just sit in a room discuss it and move on!

This Kate Plus 8 name change crap; and Jon being fired and now wanting the show to be canceled??? Who cares... there are alot of more important things going on in the world.

You are not major celebrities... you have 8 kids. Kids that need parents... kids that need to be shown GODLY examples! I hope they will be embarrassed in the future when they see how they are both behaving.... ugh. Cancel the show and be normal human beings please!

Cooking again...

2009-09-03T15:07:00.000-07:00

I decided to try more recipes....

Sour cream blueberry-lemon pancakes...
this is the prettiest picture. Dad liked them... I at 1/4 of it and I was done. Too sweet for me. I thought it would be fun to have a new recipe for pancakes besides our family norm. No, this was gross and hard to cook.

Cheese Stuff Manicotti...
the ingredients
the stuffing :)
the shells stuff and beginning to put the homemade sauce over it... Dad felt the need to help.
Ready to cook. It was good... but the greatest. Unfortunately I forgot (apparently I'm the only one who can put food in the refrigerator) to put it away so we had to throw it out the next morning.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-09-02T16:39:00.000-07:00

Pictures from last season's first game! Can't wait til this FRIDAY going to a preseason game!

2009-08-26T21:20:00.001-07:00

One of my favorite snacks doesn't sound so appealing....

Update on the uh... 2 weeks ago weekly goals!

2009-08-25T15:22:00.000-07:00

To be truthful, I can't remember what any of the goals were. I could probably go back and read the post but I don't care that much :) What I do remember were my plans to cook, so here are some pictures of the three meals I made.

Meal One: SPAGHETTI! Granted I already know how to make this, but it's one of my favorite.

Meal Two: Chicken and Broccoli Bake: I'm never going to make this again. A little too much salt, but it wasn't inedible.... I was nauseous for the next 12 hours!

Meal Three: LASAGNA! I have never cooked this before... it was an adventure...

the mixing :)

We decided we need some more meat than the recipe said.... but it's ready to cook!

Finished! It was one of the greatest lasagnas I have ever had, I was very proud!

I have a couple more meals planned for this week :)

New... Weekly Goals

2009-08-09T01:07:00.000-07:00

Since my life is actually pretty boring right now... last week was absolutely horrible, I started cleaning anything that bothered me. So now I have a clean room, bathroom, kitchen floor and pantries. :) So I decided that I would give myself weekly goals so I would feel like I am actually accomplishing something during my so far (useless) job searching. More on that later :) Let's see if this will work.

Weekly Goals:
Sunday 8/9 - Saturday 8/15

Cooking, the main goal is to cook dinners this week. On Friday night I sat down and picked out a couple meals and created a grocery list (such a thrilling social life I have). I'll head to the store tomorrow to pick up everything, should be interesting. I'll let you know how it turns out!
The job search continues... This week I want to at least apply for ONE job everyday... in the past couple weeks I have been doing that and more... but right now I'm running out of places to apply to. If you know of a hospital you think I should apply to let me know! I may have already applied, but what the heck doesn't hurt. I think I'm going to do a search of Inland Empire/San Diego :) and maybe a little Arizona.
Cleaning, I'll do the upkeep of everything I've worked on last week. Who knows what it will be this week, maybe my Mom will let me work on the Tupperware cabinet and throw some of that stuff away. (I might just drive her nuts. As I went through the pantry I was pulling out the most random things.... wonder what I'll discover now)
Studying.... gotta use my head. I have this 20 pound textbook sitting in my room, I'm going to try to pick a subject a day and LEARN. If you want give me a topic and I'll do some research! Here, I'll open it and find out my topic for tomorrow right now... neurological trauma.
Personal upkeep :) I gotta start moving, I'm going to try to walk at least a couple times. I'm going to try to not be a hermit crab and get out of the house. I'm going to keep using my new astringent (ha ha). I'm going to try to be POSITIVE.